Thursday, March 31, 2011

how to cook bolognese for 30 people

1. Put the call out on Facebook and borrow a massive pot from a friend

2. Spend $47.05 at the supermarket and hope you’ve judged the quantities vaguely correctly.

3. Chop up a bunch of onions. How many? I bought five, but one was icky, so four. Four is good.

4. Dump them all in the pot with some oil. Add some more oil when you realise you didn’t put enough in initially.

5. Add half the mince to brown.

6. Give up on the whole “two batches” thing and add the other half.

7. Get an arm muscle workout stirring the mince.

8. Get really lucky and have browned mince with no burnt bits.

9. Start chopping up a bag of carrots.

10. Get frustrated with your rubbish chopping skills and decide three carrots is enough.

11. Add carrots.

12. Curse your can opener as you open a big tin of diced tomatoes. And another one.

13. Add tomatoes.

14. Fail at opening the tomato paste container. Attack it with a knife. Add paste.

15. Be enormously thankful you bought minced garlic. Add a few teaspoons.

16. Realise you’re gonna need more diced tomatoes.

17. Curse your way through another can opening. Add to pot.

18. Glance at your hands halfway through opening the 4th can. Pray that it’s all tomato, not blood.

19. Thank the Lord that the tins of beans have ring-pulls.

20. Add some beans.

21. Hear the message tone of your phone go off and spend 5 minutes searching your tiny house for your bag.

22. Find bag on kitchen table.

23. Taste sauce and decide it needs more garlic. Add, then realise garlic is one of those flavours that gets stronger with time.

24. Put lid on pot and walk away.

25. Walk back and stir it a bit.

26. Stare at washing up, wishing for magic dish-washing powers.

27. Decide to write a blog post and wash up later.